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Ugh, I hope it’s just PMS

February 11, 2012

Anxious, sad, angry, nervous, tired, wired, cranky…

Obviously something is going on. I try to get it out by talking to friends, meditating a bit and now writing (I probably should have tried writing sooner, but you can’t sit down to write while you’re slinging seafood).

I’m freaking out a little bit. My brain keeps circling one topic — the way water circles a drain — and it won’t stop. I’ve looked at it from a multitude of angles and thought of as many solutions as I can, but my brain just won’t put the stupid thing down. Why can’t I concentrate on anything else?

Something that won’t make me anxious…something that will allow me to fall asleep…something that doesn’t make me clench my teeth?

And, maybe the worst part of all this: it isn’t an unfamiliar feeling.

I get like this sometimes. If you have read my blog for a couple of years you may remember a few posts about it from the past.I don’t know what causes the feeling. In the past I usually blamed the “high stress” situations at my job. But really, were they that stressful?

And if it was stress, why am I stressing out so much about this one thing?

Okay, it is about work. And money. And it involves my biggest client at the moment. So there’s that.

I don’t want to think about this so much in a negative way and turn it into something worse than it is because of all the concentrated negative energy — BLAST IT! And the next meeting isn’t until Monday afternoon. If I am thinking about this, like this for the next three days I may just go insane.

Please, God, take this out of my brain. Give me a sweeter drain to circle. Like the class I’m taking to creating love in my life. Or the writing class I’m going to be teaching in March. Or getting my apartment clean. Or even just work while I’m there for the next two days. Something I can actually do something about…sheesh.

A couple of months ago it occurred to me that every now and then I have a few really awful days and then I’ll get my period and think, “Oh, maybe it was just PMS.” And I realized that during the awful days it almost never occurs to me that it might just be PMS. So I resolved to remember that and see if realizing that it might be a common female occurrence could help a little bit.

Well, I remembered. And I really do hope this is just PMS (so that I can feel better without much effort in a few days). But, sadly, realizing it might be PMS doesn’t really help at the moment.


6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 11, 2012 11:33 am

    “”Anxious, sad, angry, nervous, tired, wired, cranky””

    Hi, well im a man and I feel like you do almost 27/7. I think they call it being human.

    Do you think you might be just depressed ?


    • February 12, 2012 6:36 pm

      I might just be depressed. But I’d rather it’s PMS…cause if it is it will be gone in less than a week. Thanks, Michael.


  2. February 12, 2012 5:20 am

    “Give me a sweeter drain to circle” I LOVE that phrase! Awesome Crystal!

    I believe that the moment we ask to be shown a different way; it does appear! And so I am excited to hear about how this has transformed (not in your mind) but in your soul! πŸ™‚ Woo Hoo!


    • February 12, 2012 6:38 pm

      Thank you, Jacqui. I appreciate you reading AND commenting! It was great to see you this morning too!


    • February 13, 2012 3:26 am

      We are all brainwashed for whant of a more suitable word, to find our perfect partner, I think woman are more inclined to this than then, because I think woman feel lonelyness more than then.

      Woman have the babies, woman have the mother instinct, woman dont want to be alone, men get away with it.

      This maternal instinct drives woman to find their man, and if they dont, they get depressed.

      I could have put this better, but im sure you get the general idea.


  3. February 20, 2012 3:01 pm

    Well, for anyone who was wanting for a resolution, I have one. It turns out that I needed vitamin B in some MAJOR ways. My brain needed some good sugar! With several B vitamins a day I’m much better now.


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